Don't miss out on another chance to travel ...

February 24, 2019

Don't miss out on another chance to travel ...

Going on vacation can be hard for anyone. Whether it's lack of time, money, family issues, whatever; not every time is a good time to be away from home. The one thing I did learn a long time ago, however (but wish I learned even earlier), is that you should never wait for someone else to do what makes you happy.

It makes me sad to admit that I have lost count of how many flights I did not purchase, trips that passed me by, places I still dream of going years and years later. All because there wasn't another person to go with me. There are also those friends who have always traveled together, but don't let others come with.

The thoughts clouded my brain year after year ... Why wasn't I invited on that trip? Why don't people want to travel with me? What's wrong with me?
There is nothing wrong with me. And there is nothing wrong with the MANY other women in the world who have the same issue and thoughts as I do.

I continue to read stories of women who travel alone, why they do it and why they love it, all at the same time I am writing my own story like theirs just not on paper. Today I tell part of my story and raise a glass to all of my fellow ladies who aren't afraid to adventure alone.

my last sunrise on the island

In September 2018 I started planning my post-35th birthday vacation for January 2019. I decided on a week on Grand Cayman Island. From the time I started booking that trip, to the week I was leaving, the noise and negativity around me grew to heights higher than I ever imagined. Keep in mind, this isn't the first time I've traveled alone, I've been doing it to some extent for almost 20 years, so why were people so hard on me now? Maybe because it's international and I won't have cell phone service?

The idea of a relaxing Caribbean paradise vacation was shared with many of my friends - jealousy, questions, interest from them swarmed me! Until the day came that I booked the trip. No one wanted to or could go with me. Since this is the same story I have lived many times over I had prepared myself for the very real chance I would be alone on this trip and part of me honestly hoped that I would end up on that island alone.

I borrowed books from the library, asked people for recommendations, googled excursions, made my lists of what I could do, printed bus schedules and maps and once January came I was nearly ready. As my excitement built and my list of things to do grew, a cloud was slowly building over me created from peoples judgment and warnings.

I spent many days nearing tears and anxiety attacks because I couldn't believe that people around me wanted to tear me down and seemed to want to make me feel bad and/or scared to travel alone.

I know people didn't think I was hearing their words or listening to them, but I was listening more than they thought. What I heard over and over again was: jealousy, confusion, fear, lack of confidence, not feeling adventurous enough, not knowing where to start, and worry about getting bored alone. Hearing all of this made me more sad for them than for me not having someone to travel with.

I made a couple of decisions during this time - don't let the haters get to me and I should use this as an opportunity to try to inspire those around me. Since coming home, I know of one person who has started to plan their own summer trip alone - multiple stops in the U.S. they have always wanted to go. It wasn't until they started putting it on paper that they realized how realistic it actually is for them to go! I know of another person who (unknown to me) had booked their own first solo adventure, to Asia, and hearing my story has helped her to feel less scared of what was to come and more excited for her trip than she has been thus far.

I have now been home a month and am planning more vacations for this year - all of which I am planning alone. I continue to read blogs and stories about other women who choose the solo travel life and have gathered so much inspiration and so many new tools. I love that so many of us have forged our own paths and continue to share our positive stories. Maybe someone will end up coming with me on some of these adventures but if they don't, I won't feel bad about going, not for one second.

Some bits of advice and answers to questions I get a lot ...
* Research where you are going. Read (lots of) reviews. I have no shame in admitting I research crime and murder rates, you should too.
* It's easy to find things to do if you think about it. Bring books ( I read 4 in a week ), magazines, crossword puzzles.
* When traveling alone, don't book excursions ahead of time. Solos are usually easy to fit into any group outings, you can also find some deals closer to the day of an outing.
* ALWAYS book group excursions. This should go without saying but think about it, do you ant to charter a fishing boat headed to the open ocean alone? Not really.
* Don't be afraid to get recommendations from people on things to do and tell them you are a solo traveler. I'm not saying wearing it on a name tag and introduce yourself as alone but read people, there are a lot of nice people out there who love to help. Especially your hotel/resort concierge.
* Pack food in your checked bag and go to the grocery store! It will save you a lot of money and that way you can prioritize your spending for stuff that you enjoy. For me it's dinner, I eat dinner out nightly and thats it. That leaves more money for things like beer tastings and enjoying local fare.
* Don't be dumb. It's hard not to feel vulnerable as a solo traveling woman but people get too scared about it sometimes. Be aware of your surroundings and confident and be smart. It's easy to not walk down a dark alley alone at night. Just sayin.
* Yes, there are things I don't do because it's easier with two people (like shore snorkeling off Grand Cayman), it does make me sad but its part of the choice of traveling alone.
* Don't be afraid of quiet time. Some of my most enjoyable moments of my trip were coffee and books on the deck in the morning watching the sunrise or a cold beer and my book with the stars over me.

In the age of female empowerment we find ourselves in, I hope that other women continue to find joy in time alone and stop making others feel bad for their choices around traveling alone. I know choosing to go alone brings me so much confidence and continued excitement knowing there is such a big world out there to be explored and so many cool things you can do. I can only hope that other women (and men for that matter) find it in themselves to enjoy it too.

As someone who has been single basically their whole life (first relationship started at the age of 34) I have had to learn to ignore the negativity and enjoy myself. It's really the only thing that keeps an adult women sane through the years of being a bridesmaid, a godmother, a career women. I don't ever want to lose who I am and enjoying life on my own terms.

Next up, researching solo traveler tour companies. Maybe I'll be somewhere cool toward the end of 2019 like Bali? I can only hope!

Today I leave you with this ... One of my supporters said this to me leading up to my trip and as harsh as it sounds, I believe it to be true: The only people who get bored traveling alone are just boring people.

Don't be boring. Be exciting!