Happy Easter?
I chose today to forgo the traditional family Easter. This is the first time I have ever done this when I've lived in the same state as my family. Why did I do this? Well, there's a couple of reasons. First, I need a break (reasons to follow). Second, I'm haven't been feeling the best this week/weekend, found it better to take this route than infest a nursing home with sickness. It is now just 3 pm and today has been one of the most glorious days I have had in a really really long time. Simply thankful I made the choice to stay home.
Before I get into the meat of my thoughts, one of the reasons this day has been glorious? Breakfast.
Before I get into the meat of my thoughts, one of the reasons this day has been glorious? Breakfast.
This was delicious. That's all I have to say about that.
I started my day off with 1/4 of this pan and a whole pot of coffee. It was divine.
So now, back to the other stuff. The whole "I need a break" thing.
Well. Best way to describe that is that I have had a really weird week. I'm sure everyone can relate at one point in life, but this week has been, um, a little humbling I guess. I am having problems coming up with other words.
First of all, I needed some changes, so I took the leap last weekend and chopped my hair off. I have yet to take a really good picture of it, but here is the best I have right now from the other night. I do love my hair. It took me a week to get here, but it happened. I also went back to blonde this week which I didn't realize needed to happen so bad until I did it. It makes me look like I have way more color in my skin, I'm happy its back.
Unfortunately I have NO idea how much was cut off, but i'm guessing, it was a solid 3 inches, maybe up to 5.
But now onto why I feel like this week was so weird. I am stuck in this mix of "WTF is wrong with me" and "When are all of these things going to change".
Positives: I have been spending more time at the gym (like 3.5 hours last Sunday). I redeemed myself this week on my bench press training. The weather is getting better. I got to spend some time with people I haven't seen in a while (one I haven't seen in a year). The schedule for the day of my powerlifting meet was released and the roster, I am one of 10 women competing.
Negatives: I failed on my back squat training this week. I ate out 5-6 times this week which hurts my checkbook and my stomach. Work is still stressful. The long distance friends I miss are all in the middle of some large life adjustments and are too busy to chat, and I still miss them. The schedule for the day of my powerlifting meet was released, and I have no one coming with me still. I've been called "gym girl" multiple times this week - I don't like that people don't remember my name. I am absolutely exhausted - like falling asleep daily at 10 am at work.
If there is anything else that belongs in either bucket, it escapes me.
I have just been in a HUGE fog this week and can't quite figure out how to snap out of it. It's getting really annoying. I do have faith that it will pass though. I have been in states like this and usually something happens that just bring everything in perspective. Hopefully that will be very soon.
NOW, onto something big that happened this week and also made me do some thinking.
I was asked by a coach of mine to write a blog post for my gym about my transformation. I was absolutely flattered and said yes immediately.
Here is the actual post: http://twintowncrossfit.com/2014/04/the-success-of-tracy/
The intro that my coach wrote was absolutely heart warming. The response from people left me speechless. I still am a little bit. People from my own box who haven't known me for more than a year, people from my past remembering where I've been and everyone else in between. The support, the kind words, the re-posts ... can't express what I was feeling that day.
Once I started to realize just how much people truly were affected by this and what they had to say, I decided to submit my post to a Facebook group, CrossFit Women = Strong. This was one of the biggest "OMG moments" I had. I think there were 600+ "likes" and about 30 comments from women either on the same journey as me or thanking me for sharing my weight and my story for various reasons.
While all of this was going on, I also had some friends re-post my story ... My great friend Gabby from Richmond (and is absolutely one of my idols, check out her blog in the "what am I reading" section to the side), and my friend and partner from Freeze Fest, Shane. These two just made my already flattery and humbless shoot through the roof. Reading other people's words about you, well, there are no words to describe it.
Now, I have never thought of myself as a motivator or someone who is inspirational, but I guess that I am. And since I am, I will keep on doing it. I have never been nor will I ever be smug, I will never tell others what to do with their lives, but if seeing what I've done helps one person, I couldn't ask for much more.
One really hard thing about this though? I cannot count how many people have approached me asking for help. Specific issues they are having or specific help they need. I am not certified at coaching, I am not a nutritionist, I can only share what I've done, and that is hard to get people to hear I am realizing.
Outside of this post, people just continue to approach me (as example, neighbors who really only know I work out a lot) and ask me to help them. It's kind of awkward and a lot of pressure. "Come grocery shopping with me" or "Can I come over and see what you've read or what you do?" or "Can you send me CrossFit workouts that I can do at home?" Don't get me wrong - I LOVE helping, but damn. There's 7 days in a week, and all 7 I feel this stalking and these questions is another full time job.
So yeah. I feel like i just word vomited a lot but those are the main things that went on in life this week.
I think that the mix of already feeling over extended, sad, tired, etc. and then being hit with a sledgehammer with so much positivity has really made me reflect on a lot of things. I really do not know what needs reflection change or attention but I will figure it out. The weather is getting nicer, so there are only good things to come.
I do have more food to share - which I know you all love just as much as me. I made carnitas. Four pounds of them. I literally want to eat these for breakfast, lunch and dinner FOREVER.
I was too lazy to attempt to make Paleo tortillas so I ate them last night as a pile, a top of quinoa, and added tomato/mushroom and avocado. I wanted to sit down with the entire four pounds and a fork and eat myself into a coma these were so good.
Speaking of my girl Gabby, these are courtesy of her :)
I bought a bunch of supplies this week to cook for the next two weeks - a bunch of new recipes so coming up in the next week or so you'll see some more recipes. Cooking does make me happy, and I think I need to start adding people to my roster and inviting them over and sharing some of this goodness!
Another thing that I was happy about this week? My coaches and their help. When I failed on my back squats earlier this week, my coach Teddy was there to help, videoed me and used some coaching software and his expertise to help me try some new things to keep from pulling my knees in.
I tried it later with my lite day and by god, I think it may be working! People ask me why I like going to CrossFit, this is absolutely top 3 - the coaches. Everything about them.
Well. That's about all this gals got for this week. Just a foggy head and a lot of thinking to do. I will say, I already feel a little better just treating myself to a day off. Using today to be a real relax day with no people, no gym, not even leaving my four walls aside from reading outside.
I'll say, I think I'm starting to make some progress.
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